I hate my life and I feel like there's nothing I can do about it! Why are things not happening? I'm so sick of this plateau! I feel like I have been in the same spot my whole life, treading water, and no matter how hard I swim I cannot get any further up stream. I have obeyed God! I wrote I Had Dreams like He told me to. It's still sitting not selling. I wrote the screenplay like He told me to. It's still sitting here! I wrote the non-fiction version. He told me to give it to someone to proof-read and then told me to leave it alone so I can add more to it later. I did that too. Now, I'm writing Alternate Choices, but is it just another waste-of-time project? I want God's will but why is it God's will for all my hard work to be sitting on a shelf? Why is it God's will that we not have a dog? (I had just asked the landlord if we could have a dog and he said no.) I mean if I can't have a man, can't I at least have a dog to welcome me home?
Saturday, June 4, 2011 at 7:58pm
I really got to thinking after that last post and I started realizing some things. Why do Christians make everything so difficult? God doesn't intend for us to stress over every little thing. I've come to the conclusion that I can do no wrong! Yes, I can still sin, and I shouldn't but I don't have to stress out or over analyze every little thing. As long as I'm righteous, I can do no wrong. The Bible says the steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord. Psalm 37:4 says "If you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart." I believe that means that as you spend time with God you'll begin to desire what He has planned for you. Anything that Satan throws in your way to distract you or derail you won't affect you anyway. Isaiah 54:17 that no weapon formed against me will prosper. I may not understand why my writing is sitting on a shelf, but I need to keep writing anyway. I need to check my motives. Am I writing just to be published? Or am I writing because I love writing? Or am I writing because it is what God called me to do?
