Women's March

I've read lengthy comments supporting the women's march and other lengthy comments refuting it. This is my opinion on the march itself as well as the issues that were included in the reasons behind it. I'm probably going to disagree with you at some point, both my liberal and conservative friends. This is merely my opinion. You can take it or leave it.

The March Itself

I was glad to see a few things and disappointed by others. I appreciate the fact that the marches were done legally. No roads were blocked without a permit. There were no violent outbursts. They were very organized. I was disappointed by the messes left in the streets such as the piles of signs lining the fence seen in one photo. The language used on some of the signs and in some of the speeches were very unbecoming. I've been a cab driver for 20+ years so you can just imagine what my vocabulary has consisted of, but when speaking or writing to make a point (especially when the point is demanding respect) I avoid the use of profanity. The language hurt the cause pretty badly. As if the language wasn't bad enough, I was appalled by the pussyhats. (Please save the "they aren't bad" rhetoric. We're all adults and we're not stupid. We know exactly what they mean. And if YOU don't, Google it. Here's a hint... it has to do with the derogatory comment President Trump made on the bus 11 years ago.) The full-bodied vagina suits were a complete embarrassment!!! If you want to be taken seriously, stop acting like children. Wearing a huge vagina suit is very childish and embarrassing. Everyone can tell you're a woman by looking at you. Now had everyone chosen to wear pink t-shirts as a sign of solidarity, it would have been tactful, respectful, and still powerful!

Women's Reproductive Rights

Let's be honest and call the topic abortion because that is what all the arguing is about--abortion. I believe abortion is murder. I also believe in forgiveness for those who've had an abortion. I believe overturning Roe v Wade would cause more women's deaths than we see now. I believe while it may result in more women dying it will not equate to the 1.3 million babies that are murdered every year. I believe that women who have abortions illegally will have to deal with the consequences of that action, just as we have to deal with the consequences for ALL of our actions--good and bad. I cannot advocate for the legality of abortion, period. (The argument for abortion in the case of the risk of death of the mother and the case of rape/incest, are moot points in this opinion piece as they  account for less than 2% of abortions performed in this country combined.)

I have seen the argument from pro-choice people quite often that if we were truly pro-life then we would advocate for better programs to provide for the children after they are born. Many pro-life people have stood on the personal responsibility platform and use it to preach that she shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place. I believe we, as a society and as individuals, could do much better in this area and, if we are fighting to make abortion illegal we will need to step up the care provided for children who are born because abortion is illegal. I'm not sure exactly what programs I'm talking about here because I haven't put that much thought into it, but I completely agree with their concern. My family provided a foster home for over 50 kids when I was a child. My parents adopted my brother. Another brother of mine has adopted two daughters. If every pro-life person were to step up we could definitely provide for these kids. Many feel that "free" birth control is not the answer either. Why not? If we are advocating to make abortion illegal, we should also be advocating for alternative solutions. Teaching kids abstinence is great, but we can't be naive enough to think that just because we said don't do it, they won't. We have to have other plans in place as well.

Funding Planned Parenthood

This is where I'm probably going to disagree with 99% of my friends both liberal and conservative. I don't believe the federal government should fund any business--for profit or non-profit. I don't have a problem with a start up grant to get your business up and going (but I think all grants should be for equal amounts and for start up only). I believe that companies should be self-sufficient and if they aren't, maybe they shouldn't exist. There are people all over this country who are willing to donate to causes they believe in. (If the government stopped funding PP, I know there will be enough donations to keep it going.) I don't think my tax dollars should fund abortions because I believe they are murder. I don't believe atheists tax dollars should fund churches through tax breaks. I don't believe donations to non-profits should be tax deductible. Your donation should be made because you believe in the cause, not so you have something else to claim on your taxes. I'm getting off on a tangent here with this one sentence... If we stopped all these tax deductions/breaks, taxes would be more streamlined and we could do away with the IRS and save money there, too.

One argument I've seen when I discuss defunding PP is all the services that PP provides. Every health department (tax payer funded) and crisis pregnancy center (donations funded) across this country provides those same services. If PP were to go under, which again I seriously doubt it would, the services would still be available. And, just a side note, did you know Planned Parenthood, that company who professes to be ALL about women's reproductive health, doesn't offer prenatal care? Go ahead, call your local PP office and ask about their prenatal services. They'll tell you the only service they offer to pregnant women is termination services, aka abortion.

Equal Rights

For the most part American women already have equal rights thanks to the hard work and sacrifices made by generations of women who have gone before us.

One thing that many women are upset about, and rightfully so, is the lesser pay that many receive for the same work as their male counter-parts. This anti-Trump march is protesting the one President who has said he intends to change that! With daughter, Ivanka by his side, Trump is very aware of issues such as this.

Another thing many have complained about is paid maternity leave. While this is not really an equal rights issue because men don't have babies, nor do they get paternity leave, it is an issue. Again, Ivanka is on this and her father has already been working on it since inauguration day, just 8 days ago!

One of the points on one of the comments I read said that women shouldn't have to pay for feminine care products since women have no choice in whether or not they have a period. This is a silly point. Babies have no choice in whether they pee or not. Incontinent elderly people have the same problem, yet diapers and Depends aren't free. We all have to wipe, men and women, because we all have to poo, yet toilet paper isn't free. Shoot, if you want to push it, we all have to eat, so food should be free, too, huh?

Another equal rights issue is rape culture. This will be pretty in-depth so I will address it separately a little later.

Since we're talking about equal rights, we also have to point out rights that women have that men don't--namely, ladies' night. I can't say as I have ever seen a feminist in the bar demand to pay full price because she doesn't want special treatment.

All that being said, it is obvious to me that equal rights really had nothing to do with the women's march at all. The only two legitimate equal rights issues have been discussed and are being addressed by the Trump administration. Let's be honest. It was all about Trump's stance on abortion and and his comment about grabbing pussies.

Rape Culture in America

At one of the marches a man held a sign that said "I'm half naked and surrounded by members of the opposite sex...but I feel protected, not intimidated. I want the same for them." Most women would feel intimidated or even scared when surrounded by men even if fully clothed! Many women have, at some point in their lives, felt threatened, violated, or scared by the actions of men around them. Women have to take precautions that men don't even think about, like going jogging alone at 5 am. Women think about things that men don't, like if a guy is chasing me and I get to my car, the fact that all four doors open when I push the button, may not help keep me safe. (That's a conversation I just had with Donald when I bought my new car last month.)

So, what can be done about it? Rape is already illegal, although, as we saw with the Brock Turner case, the punishment is sometimes a slap on the wrist. So, then, obviously we need national minimum sentences that judges can't change (as we have in Tennessee).

Another step is education. We need to raise our boys to know what rape is and what consent is. Teach them to respect women. Stop excusing their actions by saying "boys will be boys". Maybe making this part of sex education is the answer. Maybe parents teaching their kids better. Maybe families being better role models. Maybe tv shows could assess and educate their viewers better. Maybe making an example out of the Brock Turners of this world. I don't know the answer, but it has to stop. We cannot teach our daughters NOT to take proper precautions until we teach our sons how to act.

Another change that can be made is that society must stop blaming women... for getting drunk, for wearing clothing that some might be tempted by, for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, for flirting, and the list goes on. None of the things I've listed are illegal. Raping women is!

So there you have it. I really hope that by posting lengthy opinion pieces such as this, dialogue can take place instead of insults being slung. Hopefully understanding other's opinions, hearing their concerns, not judging, but really listening, we can find some solutions.

So Can You

Even though I am white, I feel I have earned the right to post my opinion on racism. Many people disagree although most change their minds about that once they've heard my story. So I'll begin by telling my story (the condensed version), then I'll state my opinion.

When I was 7 years old, my parents became foster parents. We had about 50 different children living with us at different points in time over the next 9 years. Some stayed just a few weeks while others stayed a few years. We had children of all races. Most were newborns, a few were toddlers, only one was school-aged (13). We were often invited to churches or other meetings in which my parents would speak about adoption. My first experience with racism was when I was 8 years old. We had a beautiful black newborn baby, but he had rather dark skin. I'll never forget the questions and confusion I felt when a black couple looked at that precious baby and the woman stated "If we adopt one we don't want one that dark." (She was darker than the baby.) I asked my Mom why she said that and my mom said she didn't understand it either, but some people are just picky. As the years went by, I heard similar comments from blacks and comments from whites about it being wrong to adopt interracially.

When I was 12 we got a black baby named Myles. He was my favorite out of all the babies we ever had. (I would eventually name my son after him.) When I was 13 we got a newborn named Leon. A few years later my parents asked us kids how we would feel about them adopting Leon. We unanimously agreed. Some people told us we were wrong for adopting a black child; we couldn't give him "proper insight into his heritage," or ''it's wrong for a white family to raise a black child." We did our best to ignore these comments. When Leon was in elementary school, someone called DHS and falsely reported abuse, which the DHS investigator determined was initiated by a neighbor with a racial grudge and it was all dropped.

I had a white son when I was 17. At age 19, I married a black man. When we were dating, his father asked me why I wanted to marry his son. When I said "because I love him," he said "can't you find a white man to love?" I was speechless. We got married as planned despite his father's attitude toward me, which we later found out was also his mother's feelings as well. I had two children with him, Myles and Jessica. We eventually separated and divorced. I moved in to a duplex in July of 1993. A few months later the man who lived in the other half of my duplex set my half on fire in an attempt to kill me, Myles, and Jessica. I survived. Myles and Jessica did not. During his arson/murder trial it was revealed that his motive was racism. He told his cell mate "I waited until the white kid went to school because I kind of liked him." He proceeded to call Myles and Jessica "half-breeds" and me a "nigger-lover".

Most blacks today cannot say that someone they know personally has been murdered simply because of their race. They may have lost family members before their births, but very few can directly relate. Most blacks have experienced racial comments, slurs, hatred, etc. Some have experienced fear of violence or actual violence due to racial bigotry. I have also experienced those things.

When I was a kid, I was picked on often by my classmates. Mom told me to ignore them. She said they were trying to get a rise out of me, but if I ignored them eventually they would stop. She was right in some instances, but wrong in others (but that's a different post). What I learned from that is that others may have an opinion of you that you don't like, but you can't control that and you shouldn't let that define you. As we visited those churches, heard people's rude comments about a white family having a black child, dealt with judgemental looks as my husband and I were seen in public, or my one blonde-haired, blue-eyed child and two dark haired, dark-skinned, brown-eyed children went shopping, etc I learned to let the negativity roll off of me.

Myles and Jessica's murder was the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life. I learned a lot of lessons from that, even before I knew the motive. One thing I learned is that it's up to us how we handle things. Life is what we make it. If you let it, anything in life can defeat you. I made a conscious decision that I wasn't going to let my children's deaths define the rest of my life. I was 24 years old. I had my whole life ahead of me. That decision gave me strength to overcome. Looking back on it, I know that decision was rooted in what my mother taught me when I was in elementary school. She taught me how to let comments and insults roll off of me. I knew if I could let those hurtful things that were said and done to me roll off, I could let anything roll off.

Bullying comes in all shapes and sizes; whether it be your race, your sexual orientation, your size, your age, etc. In today's society, we have forgotten, or were never taught, to let things roll off.  We take everything personally. We let everything leave damaging scars. We let people we don't even know define who we are by listening to their words instead of seeing that they are the ones with issues. Sometimes people say hurtful things on purpose, sometimes they think they are better than us somehow, sometimes they say them without thinking or without ill intent. I'm not saying things don't hurt, nor am I trying to downplay your experiences. I'm saying you, and only you, can control how it will affect you. You can be a victim or you can be an overcomer. I chose to be an overcomer! So can you!

The TRUE Christmas Gift

A man saw a world in turmoil. There was fighting and oppression. There was an overbearing government, full of greed and desire for power. There was a church that was more concerned about punishing those who broke its rules than about the heart of the person, the pain that he/she had endured. Love was seemingly forgotten. The man knew he had to do something!

He remembered a time when all was perfect in the world, when he walked with his friends and talked with them. He had a personal relationship with them. That had been so wonderful! He smiled as he remembered Adam calling out to him just to talk. Eve would show him the beautiful flowers and tell him how much she loved each one. "Oh, the good old days!" the man sighed, nostalgically. It had been so long ago! Over the years, there had been some who sought after him, who did everything they could to please him and to obey him, but they couldn't walk together through the garden. They couldn't just hang out together and have a conversation. Oh, how he longed for that relationship again!

He knew it was time, so he called his only son to come sit and talk. He told him that the time had come to put their plan into action. Jesus knew the plan; there was no need to tell him again. "Have you found the woman you want to do the job?" Jesus asked.

"I have," God replied. "Her name is Mary. She's a young, virgin woman. She is betrothed to a young man named Joseph. They have both lived clean, upright lives. They have both sought to please me and obey my commandments. Mary has asked me to use her however I need to. Last night, I sent Gabriel to tell her the plan. She agreed. Gabriel also told Joseph and he agreed, too. The plan is set. I love you so much, my dear son, but this has to be done."

"I know, Father. I love you, too." Jesus fought the tears that were forming in his eyes. He turned away from his father. "I love them, too!" God placed his hands on Jesus' shoulders.

"You've got this, Son! I'm so proud of you! Now, go show the human race how much We love them!"

The Trip Two Teenagers Took

I want you to stop and THINK HARD about this. Use your imagination. Close your eyes after each sentence and get a picture in your mind's eye.

A teenaged girl and her boyfriend are all alone travelling miles away from home. They don't have a car, only one donkey who can't carry them both. They walk/ride for miles upon miles. Feeling the rhythmic movement of the animal beneath her the girl, nine months pregnant, begins to feel pains that she doesn't understand. She tells her boyfriend that they need to stop, but he insists that they press on. This took place at a time when there wasn't health class at the public high school to teach kids about anatomy, sex, and childbirth. The lights of the city begin to come into view when all of a sudden a gush of fluid... Mary is scared. The pains are coming harder now and lasting longer. Joseph, whose legs hurt and blisters are forming on his feet, tries to walk faster. He doesn't know what to do with Mary. He wants to comfort her, but doesn't know how. He thinks "If I can just get her to Bethlehem, we will find someone who will know what to do." But when they finally arrive in the city, it is late and most people have gone to bed. Joseph sees an inn and figures if he can get Mary to lie down maybe, just maybe, the baby will wait until morning. He tells Mary to wait outside so she doesn't have to climb down. He goes in and asks for a room. The clerk says he doesn't have an empty room. He suggests that Joseph try the inn down the road. After approaching numerous clerks begging for a room, Mary begins to feel pressure along with the pains, which are now very intense. Joseph, fighting the tears, trying to stay calm for Mary's sake, tells the clerk that the baby is coming now and he needs help. The clerk says "There are no rooms, but I suppose you can go in the barn. There is some hay in there for your donkey. I'm sorry, but that's all I have to offer." Out of options, they agree. This is not at all how Mary had envisioned giving birth to her first child. Joseph led the donkey into the barn and helped Mary down. He tried to help her get comfortable, but the pain was almost unbearable and the hay stabbed her with every move. Joseph offered Mary some water from the canteen. Both scared and nervous, neither knew what to do, but following their instincts, Joseph delivered the baby. Mary held the baby against her skin and wrapped her clothing tightly around him as she nursed her son for the first time. Although Joseph was exhausted from the long trip, he took the lantern and searched the barn for anything that might be useful. He found an old trough. He moved it over by Mary, filled it with hay and shaped the hay to conform to the baby. He, then, fed the donkey and gave him water before he sat down by Mary's side. Mary had been crying silently. She was overwhelmed with love for little boy that she had just brought into the world. Joseph wiped the tears from her cheeks and began to pray out loud. An angel appeared to comfort them. Later, in the middle of the night, strangers began to arrive at the door of the barn--shepherds and wisemen bearing gifts for the Newborn King.

So many times we get caught up in all of the "requirements" of the Christmas season: shopping, decorating, wrapping, parties, and for some depression, feelings of worthlessness, and missing loved ones. Let us remember and share the details of this story--the only thing that really matters!

Merry Christmas!

I selected this picture because all of the other ones I found had Joseph and Mary looking old. I also love the looks on their faces in this one. Poor Joseph looks like he's thinking, "What do we do with him?"

Light--Catching Fire!!!

This blog was birthed after a conversation regarding the movie Catching Fire. I will say that when I first read the book The Hunger Games, I, too, was appalled by the thought of teens killing teens. I had read the book because the librarian gave it to my 11-year-old daughter to read I was monitoring her reading. That was five years ago when the book first came out. Since then our society has seen a serious decline in morality with reports of teenagers killing or violently attacking random victims of any age for sport—the knockoutgame, a child killed in his stroller after the teens robbed his mother, a college student shot in the back because teenagers were bored, and many more.

 

 

 

I had taken my, now, 16-year-old daughter to see Catching Fire and I posted on Facebook what a good movie it was. I expressing that Catching Fire opened the door for my daughter and I have a discussion about teen violence in the world around us and that it only takes one determined to do the right thing to turn everything around. The conversation grew until there were about three or four parents on each side of the issue. I was, at one point, accused of allowing Hollywood to teach my daughter morals. One, I didn't use the movie to SKIRT my responsibility of teaching my daughter, but rather as a tool to ASSIST me. Two, I'm not talking about an 11-year-old. She's 16! She has the basics down by now.

 

Other parents in the discussion brought up Phil 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." I think, too often, some Christians use this verse as an excuse to hide away in a little bubble while ignoring the world around them. It's easier to just surround themselves with people who think like they do and turn a blind eye to the violence that is on the rise.

 

That lead me to Matt 5:14-15 “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.  No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house."

 

Light is such an interesting thing. Many people have never experienced utter darkness—the can't-see-your-hand-right-in-front-of-your-face kind of darkness. I have a few times when visiting Ruby Falls and Mammoth Cave. For some reason they always find it necessary to turn the lights off for a minute. It's powerful, and scary! This is the kind of darkness that those in hell will experience (referred to as "outer darkness" in Matt 8:12, 22:13, and 25:30).

The darkness in your bedroom, which isn't as dark as utter (outer) darkness even if you have it as dark as possible, is comforting. We find peace in that darkness because we find rest there. When someone suddenly flips the light on, our first reaction is to cover our eyes and then yell at the person who invaded our resting place. It literally hurts our eyes!

When the sun is beating in your bedroom window and someone flips the light on you barely notice, if you notice at all. Maybe it was the sound of the light switch more than the actual light that alerted you to the fact that the light has been turned on. The dome light in your car comes on when you open the door whether it's daytime or nighttime, yet you only notice it at night. My point is this, you must have darkness for the light to make a difference and the darker it is, the more impact the light will have. An interesting observation however, is that darkness NEVER overpowers light, but light ALWAYS overpowers darkness. The dark doesn't even try to “fight” back. It just submits to the light.

 

The Bible refers to sin as darkness and Jesus as light (Job 12:22 and Luke 2:32). The sin in this world is similar to the darkness in your bedroom. You can see a little light here and there, but the darkness is pretty overwhelming until your eyes adjust to it. Once you adjust and get comfortable, the sudden shedding of light is an assault and your first reaction is to cover your eyes, to remain in the darkness. Sometimes, even yelling at the person who revealed the light. It invades our resting place. It hurts at first, but you will eventually adjust to it, if you are willing to pull your hand off of your eyes. However, if you are sitting in your bubble with no one around you except other light-bearers, your light is useless.

 

Christians are not the light. We are merely bearers of the Light. John 1:8 "John himself was not the light; he was simply a witness to tell about the light." Jesus is the Light. We live in a dark world and it is getting darker. It is our responsibility, as bearers of the Light, to let our lights shine! As we expose sin, people may get mad at us as they cover their eyes to it and try to hide from light. There may be consequences for speaking the Truth of God's Word in this dark world. People may curse at us, ostracize us, cancel business contracts with us, etc but we are called to be the light anyway. If you keep your light to yourself, however, not only are you useless, but the dark, sinful people will still call you names, like arrogant, holier-than-thou, Bible-thumpers.

 

If I'm going to be called names and persecuted anyway, I figure I might as well make as much of an impact for Christ and shine the Light in love to as many as possible. At least then my persecution won't be in vain!

Trust Your Gut

This is actually yesterday's thought that I forgot to post.
Thought for the day: Always trust your gut. Romans 14:23 NLT "But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning."

The Sky... The Word

Is the sky blue or gray? There is only one correct answer and it it's a always true even though it may APPEAR otherwise. When you look up, the sky looks gray at times,  but behind the clouds, the sky is always blue. God's word is always true even when it doesn't appear that away.